


Nobody Does

by CameoAmalthea



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Axel & Roxas - freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-20
Updated: 2010-04-19
Packaged: 2017-10-26 23:36:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/289132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CameoAmalthea/pseuds/CameoAmalthea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of one shots from the perspective of different Organization members.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Xemnas: Nobody Dreams

Blue hair framing a face; eyes just as blue, like the sky at dawn, or a tropical sea. A sea you could drown in, though drowning would be fine. Because they'd be there together, surrounded by warmth. Warmth, yes, that was what he remembered when he saw those eyes. Warmth and protection, someone who would be there for him.

Loyalty, now that was something...

Xemnas woke with a start. Just a dream, the same dream. Except, how could he be sure? He never remembered it when he woke. The dream was never finished.

Sometimes the nobody feared that he would cease to dream all together, for didn't dreams come from the heart like a wish? Were these wishes, a residual longing that he remembered but could no longer feel? Or were these just memories replaying like a tape on loop. Always the same, and signifying nothing at all.

Nothing. That is what Xemnas had, what all nobodies had. The Darkness and the Nothingness they'd all fade into, except for the distant hope of Kingdom Hearts. Sometimes he wondered why they hoped at all with no hearts to guide them. Nothing to guide them except his leadership, he was number I, superior of Organization XIII. He'd found them all, one by one and bound them together. He'd given them a purpose, and given them their names. An X for each name, X for Xehanort and for something else, something greater.

"χ"... A most ancient letter. Some say "kye," but the meaning is the same. Death... A letter that spells endings."

Were these his words? Xemnas couldn't remember saying them or what they meant, but they echoed through his mind as he sat in the darkness of his room. The superior got to his feet and began to wander the castle. No use sleeping, even if he longed to continue the dream, it was useless. The dream would never finish, and he would never have what he longed for. What he yearned for while he slept, memories of feelings like ghosts in an empty house.

Who was that person? What were these memories? Love?

Had he ever loved?

He can't remember, and perhaps it's better that way. Things are clearer without emotions to hold you back. Xemnas made his way to Roxas' room where the boy lay sleeping. He'd collapsed a day or so ago. Xemnas was not sure why exactly but guessed it had something to do with Sora, and what had happened at Castle Oblivion. As of yet, all he knew was that everyone had been destroyed.

The loss of loyal forces was unfortunate, but at least the threat of treason had been neutralized. "And you will wake," he said to Roxas, "and we shall continue." The key blade wielder would gather the hearts, the perfect pawn in Xemnas's game. "Just like he was, or are you the same? He looked like you." Except Xemnas didn't remember who he was. Someone he had used for his own goals once, or was it a friend he used to have. Someone who had been a brother. Xemnas didn't know, these memories were fragments, pieces of another life. A life he lost long before he lost his heart. Xemnas was a broken long before he became a nobody.

Who had he been? What was he? Would Kingdom Hearts make it clear?

Xemnas looked to the distance for a moment, then moved away leaving the sleeping boy behind. Soon he made his way back to his own room. He'd sleep again, let the dreams come again if they would. Perhaps tomorrow he'd go and speak with his friend. They were the same, something in him knew it.

The girl in his dreams and the pile of empty armor. The armor so like him, an empty shell.

So he dreamed again. Of blue hair and eyes, and of that smile which was so long ago. Xemnas wouldn't remember what he dreamed. It vanished upon waking, even on days like today when he awoke with a start, the name "Aqua" on his lips.


	2. Xemnas: Nobody Dreams

Blue hair framing a face; eyes just as blue, like the sky at dawn, or a tropical sea. A sea you could drown in, though drowning would be fine. Because they'd be there together, surrounded by warmth. Warmth, yes, that was what he remembered when he saw those eyes. Warmth and protection, someone who would be there for him.

Loyalty, now that was something...

Xemnas woke with a start. Just a dream, the same dream. Except, how could he be sure? He never remembered it when he woke. The dream was never finished.

Sometimes the nobody feared that he would cease to dream all together, for didn't dreams come from the heart like a wish? Were these wishes, a residual longing that he remembered but could no longer feel? Or were these just memories replaying like a tape on loop. Always the same, and signifying nothing at all.

Nothing. That is what Xemnas had, what all nobodies had. The Darkness and the Nothingness they'd all fade into, except for the distant hope of Kingdom Hearts. Sometimes he wondered why they hoped at all with no hearts to guide them. Nothing to guide them except his leadership, he was number I, superior of Organization XIII. He'd found them all, one by one and bound them together. He'd given them a purpose, and given them their names. An X for each name, X for Xehanort and for something else, something greater.

"χ"... A most ancient letter. Some say "kye," but the meaning is the same. Death... A letter that spells endings."

Were these his words? Xemnas couldn't remember saying them or what they meant, but they echoed through his mind as he sat in the darkness of his room. The superior got to his feet and began to wander the castle. No use sleeping, even if he longed to continue the dream, it was useless. The dream would never finish, and he would never have what he longed for. What he yearned for while he slept, memories of feelings like ghosts in an empty house.

Who was that person? What were these memories? Love?

Had he ever loved?

He can't remember, and perhaps it's better that way. Things are clearer without emotions to hold you back. Xemnas made his way to Roxas' room where the boy lay sleeping. He'd collapsed a day or so ago. Xemnas was not sure why exactly but guessed it had something to do with Sora, and what had happened at Castle Oblivion. As of yet, all he knew was that everyone had been destroyed.

The loss of loyal forces was unfortunate, but at least the threat of treason had been neutralized. "And you will wake," he said to Roxas, "and we shall continue." The key blade wielder would gather the hearts, the perfect pawn in Xemnas's game. "Just like he was, or are you the same? He looked like you." Except Xemnas didn't remember who he was. Someone he had used for his own goals once, or was it a friend he used to have. Someone who had been a brother. Xemnas didn't know, these memories were fragments, pieces of another life. A life he lost long before he lost his heart. Xemnas was a broken long before he became a nobody.

Who had he been? What was he? Would Kingdom Hearts make it clear?

Xemnas looked to the distance for a moment, then moved away leaving the sleeping boy behind. Soon he made his way back to his own room. He'd sleep again, let the dreams come again if they would. Perhaps tomorrow he'd go and speak with his friend. They were the same, something in him knew it.

The girl in his dreams and the pile of empty armor. The armor so like him, an empty shell.

So he dreamed again. Of blue hair and eyes, and of that smile which was so long ago. Xemnas wouldn't remember what he dreamed. It vanished upon waking, even on days like today when he awoke with a start, the name "Aqua" on his lips.


	3. Demyx: Nobody Is Afraid

Maybe the bad memories are easier to remember? When Demyx thinks about what it was to feel the first memory he remembers is fear, but maybe that's because fear was the last memory. When the Darknesss came and those monsters. They were like the monsters that came before, but different...bigger, blacker, and those glowing eyes. He'd tried to run, he'd run so fast but they'd come.

Ienzo had found him. Except, he wasn't Ienzo anymore, but Zexion. He was different in more than name too, he talked now. Ienzo never talked but he smiled at lot. Zexion didn't smile, not really, but he talked. A lot of the time he talked over Demyx's head but that didn't matter because Zexion was always nice to him, in his way.

Now he was gone, and all Demyx could think was how glad he was that he hadn't been chosen to go on that mission.

Not that he was really glad. Demyx couldn't feel anything, except he didn't want to be destroyed, none of them did. They clung to life, it's what made them what they were instead of nothing at all. Demyx didn't want to be nothing, but all the same the idea wasn't scary, no really. No real feeling anymore, no fear, no regret, no since of grief or loss when they got the bad news from Castle Oblivion.

Except that Roxas kid had seemed upset. Well, he hadn't really understood what destroyed meant. He looked all blank. The kid was weird. All Nobody's are are the memories we have and our body's, right? Except Roxas doesn't look like the key blade's chosen one. Demyx had seen pictures and that Sora definitely didn't look like Roxas, and Roxas had no memories. What was with that? The sometimes it was like he could feel?

Oh well, Demyx wasn't one to waste his time on questions. That's the sort of thing Zexion and Vexen did, or used to do, anyway...

Well on the bright side Roxas being all blank meant he was pretty gullible, and a gullible person was just what he needed for getting out of work. The thing about not having a heart was you just didn't care anymore, you looked out for yourself. That made some of the Nobody's really scary, like Larxene. Boy was he glad she was gone. Demyx wasn't mean, not like them, he didn't remember how to be, he'd been nice, well Demy had been nice.

Sometimes he wasn't sure who he was anymore.

Well at least he remembered his old name. They'd tried to rename him when he joined the Organization, your old name changed around with an added X. Except he couldn't remember the new name or how to spell it, learning would have been too much work.

He'd whined to the Superior until Xemnas had let him just add an X at the end. It was much easier this way. Then he was still Demy, but with an X, Demyx. Not that he went around introducing himself to everyone like Axel, or anything. Lea had been like that too. Maybe they were all still themselves, in some ways.

Except, when Demyx played his music, but it didn't make him feel the way it used to. Nothing did, and that was the rough part. Not caring was easy a lot of the time. It meant losing Ienzo didn't hurt. It meant he could go out of his way to get out of work and not feel bad about it. It meant nothing was his problem, because there weren't real problems, there was just...emptiness.

Demyx missed the music most, before it lost that thing it had. It used to fill him up like water in a basin, now he was empty, drained of everything that made him...whole.

He could remember happiness. Demy was happy most of the time, and friendly. Demyx remembered making friends. He missed that. No one in the Organization were friends. Not really, not even Zexion and him. They'd talked together yeah, and played games together. Zexion would play twister with him, he was the only one who would play twister with him, even though he'd always loose because Demyx had longer arms and legs.

Then sometimes, when he couldn't sleep and Xiggy had yelled at him to stop playing his sitar and threatened to shoot him is he didn't give it a break, he'd find Zexion.

"Read me a story?" he'd asked. Then he'd curl up beside him in bed and Zexion would let him fall asleep there. Demyx always acted like he was the younger one, even though Zexion was the youngest in the organization, or had been before Roxas and Xion came.

Not that it mattered. Demyx might not have been the youngest, but he the most useless, that was for sure. He wasn't cut out for combat. He just wanted to be a musician. Everything went so wrong.

The worst part was, he couldn't even feel sad about it. No regret.

Part of him knows, from distant memory, that he should miss Zexion. That he should be sad. It bothers him that he isn't, except it doesn't. It should though! He knows it should.

Oh well, he still has Xiggy. He isn't alone. Not that it matters. It can't matter. Except Demy liked having friends. Demy also thought Braig was the hottest guy he'd ever seen and had a huge crush on him, well as much as an a twelve year could.

They were adults now, and sometimes Demyx thinks that if Xiggy could like he might like him. They acted like friends, went through the motions, laughed even though nothing was funny anymore.

It made him think of those pirates he'd met once on a recon mission. Not a very good recon mission since he'd been caught. He never told his superiors about it, and as long as he wasn't in trouble it was no big deal. They were cursed too, except with them it was physical, the could remember eating but couldn't eat, they could drink but would always be thirsty. It was like that for Demyx, except with feeling, no matter what he did he felt nothing, like biting into something that had lost it's taste, that was what life was like now. Everything bland and empty, missing something he was terrified of forgetting.

If he could be terrified.

He still knew enough to avoid trouble when he could. Knew enough to run from danger and worm his way out a fight when he could, if he could, but it wasn't the same as feeling.


End file.
